Loose Paper, Loose Heart
by It's Just Apple Pie
Summary: Brennan's letter. Yes, the letter. The one to Booth, when she was underground, in her car, with Jack Hodgins. The letter is short but sweet. Should I continue? I think it's good like this, right?
1. I Know This Isn't The End

Dear Booth,

You won't read this. You'll find us. So in order to prove the fact, yes fact, that you will save us, I'm going to make a statement, say a truth that I don't want you to ever know. This is how I will prove to you that I trust you, that I know you, that I don't ever doubt you. Even now, as we are slowing losing limited oxygen with every breath.

Even if you never see this, this is proof. You deserve this, even if you never see it, or if I never tell you. This is proof of my complete _faith_ in you, in your abilities.

You won't read this. You will find us. I know you.

I love you. More then you could ever know. You've succeeded in a mere two years; I love you.

With our luck you'll probably save me just on time, not a moment to spare.

With our luck.

Bones

She carefully folded the piece of paper from a copy of her book, it was the dedication page.

She placed the book she had taken it from, the spare one, and put the book on her self.

She sighed. She knew he would find them.


	2. Another Conclusion

Dear Seeley Joseph Booth,

I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. This silence is absolutely completely not reasonable, or justifiable.

I know I broke you apart- I know you gave your up faith in me.

I know you almost gave up on your future. I know you haven't let go what could have been our future.

I know you almost gave up on God.

I know it was because of me.

But I want to love you. I want to be your future. And that is dangerous.

I want to, so badly, no matter how wrong, or late, it is. And that is why I'm writing this letter, this conclusion, this confession.

I know that I can't ever fully give my self away, but if I could, it would be you. It was always you. Only you.

But you love her.

You've respected my wishes, and it's my turn to do the same for you.

Thank you for believing, before I pushed you too far, because you showed me how to live. I was on a downward spiral, but now I'm okay.

I'm improved.

It's all because of you, because I know, Booth, I know now. I know what you meant.

And I think you deserve more then my tattered heart.

And I know it's weak, but I can't bare the silence, the silent _disgust_, that I know you feel for me. That's why I'm explaining myself, though I thought I wouldn't feel the need to- even if you hated me- because I thought I was strong enough to protect your heart.

Now I know that I'm not strong.

I hope we can be friends, but I can survive with out you, Booth, and if you can survive without me, then you should leave me. This time don't come back.

Sever the partnership. Create the life you've always wanted.

Expectations are safe, after all, and that's all I've ever expected from anyone. Don't worry, I know you aren't just anyone, and I won't blame you.

So leave, I want you to. I want you to have what you need, and you need the white picket fence, the dog, and the cooking and cleaning wife. I need you to, Booth, not because I don't feel, but because it will never work. I love you enough to let you go. And I know that I'm not strong enough to stick by my decision, and I know you aren't strong enough to let me go, if we are together. If we see each other everyday.

Perhaps one day we will share apple pie, and fries, one day when we're both strong enough to look at each other, and not feel the longing.

Perhaps I will never be ready.

Forever,

Bones

Doctor Brennan folded the loose leaf, and tucked it into Booth's jacket pocket- he would find it. Here she was writing another letter, years later, years of partnership, friendship, compassion, love. Another letter, that proved something else. That gave him insight into her she didn't want anyone to have.

It was the reason.

She couldn't hand it to him.

Because her heart was placed in between those lines.

And shouldn't _hand_ him her heart.


End file.
